Puget Sounders are talking, sharing ideas at Conversation Cafés
By Cameron Woodworth
Move over, "Drew Carey" and "Ally McBeal."
In many Puget Sound circles, you're being pushed aside for good
old-fashioned conversation and real human connection. Hundreds
of people throughout the region, in fact, are giving up their
precious TV time to meet with strangers, talk about global and
personal issues, and make a difference in both the world and their
own neighborhoods by talking with one another. They're doing it
through an exciting new vehicle that's rapidly growing in popularity,
the Conversation Café.
Conversation Cafés were started in Seattle by well-known
author and voluntary simplicity activist, Vicki Robin. If you
check out the schedule on the www.conversationcafe.org web site,
you'll see that there are a couple dozen cafés spread out
through the region, from Fremont to Gig Harbor, from Wedgwood
to Tukwila. The New York Times even ran a story last month about
Conversation Cafés, and Robin says people in other parts
of the United States-and as far away as Australia and New Zealand-are
interested in offering cafés in their own communities.
The hope is that participants will come away from Conversation
Cafés smarter, wiser, more informed and more connected
with other folks. Café organizers also say conversations
build community and help foster grassroots democracy. Conversation
Cafés run counter to longtime national trends such as the
rise of suburbia, shopping malls and social isolation.
I attended my first Conversation Café at Elliot Bay Books
in Pioneer Square in January, during the kickoff of Conversation
Week 2002. A couple hundred people attended. Half-way through,
we split into small groups, forming impromptu Conversation Café
circles. I sat with six strangers, from a wide range of backgrounds,
viewpoints and ages. We shared thoughts, ideas, book titles and
more. Like so many others who attend cafés, I felt exhilarated.
Good, hearty conversation with our peers has a way of enlivening
us that mass media just can't achieve. It can also be cathartic
to share your thoughts and feelings about deep social issues.
"It's better than television," says Robin, co-author
of Your Money or Your Life, the New York Times former bestseller.
Robin attends at least one café per week, hosting the Sunday
evening café at Third Place Books in Lake Forest Park.
"It helps me gain insight into the world I'm living in, in
a way I cannot get from listening to the radio, reading books,
looking at e-mail-none of that provides the same intelligence
of deep conversation.
"Plus, it's a very restful way to communicate, because I
can just listen. I can hear from people who are different than
me, and just contemplate on that. And I get to meet all these
interesting people."
While Conversation Cafés do have some structure (see sidebar),
they also have an aura of unpredictability-anything can happen.
People say it's a little like playing conversational Hacky Sack
.
"We started last summer at the Grateful Bread café
in Wedgewood," says Robin. "We wanted to foster a culture
of conversation, and create a networking space for people. People
could talk about anything they wanted."
Conversation Cafés became especially popular after the
Sept. 11 terrorist attacks, as people looked for ways to connect
with other people, share their intense feelings, and make sense
of the tragedy. Sept. 11 is still a much-discussed topic, but
folks also are talking about everything from the Enron scandal
and access to health care to more general topics such as fear
and loss.
The cafés are designed to be a safe place to share ideas
and feelings. There are hosts, agreements and minimal structure.
Often, a topic is specified for a given café-but it usually
serves as a starting point that can branch in many different directions.
After a café, people often write feedback on response cards
about their experience. Some examples:
"I need to keep my mind focused on positive thoughts to keep
myself strong in order to be a force for positive change."
"Communicating openly and from the heart is powerful. Being
open to hearing a different perspective is also precious."
"Finding one's way to a larger context than one has, i.e.
unity in the U.S., nature, spirituality, empowerment of all people
etc. is to be celebrated. It's important to doubt and question."
"There are a lot of people who are skeptical about what is
going on. Healthy skepticism is good, as long as it is also open
to change if justified. Hopefully it leads to constructive action."
Many people report that they feel more motivated to take action
after participating in a café.
"It's increased my capacity to think critically about issues," says Robin. "I have become more political, not in the sense of being more drawn to participate in party politics, but to really ask the question, how can I as an individual make a difference in the rules of the game, in the institutions, laws and agreements of how we treat one another."
Even though Conversation Cafés have strong democratic and political elements, Robin says, "I don't think anybody in the network here in Seattle is interested in sitting on a major national organizational effort. It's inherently grassroots, so it doesn't need a top-down structure. It's not about organizing people to share certain points of view, but about creating space for people to be able to share their views."
Organizers set up the web site so any visitor can download a manual
for café hosts and start a café.
Conversation Cafés are nothing new, really-they're as old
as the town square, or sitting on the porch on a summer night,
chatting with people in the neighborhood.
Check out: http://www.conversationcafe.org